spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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