whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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