OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Randomize