try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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