Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize
