So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
