Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
