i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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