Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
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I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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