I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
