Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I was not drunk enough for that final.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
