I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
