Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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