that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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