Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
