Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
