the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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