I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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