nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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