i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
