I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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