I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
