I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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