Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
