Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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