so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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