I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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