She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
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I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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