i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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