She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
