did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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