you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
