Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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