Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
