just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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