i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
