Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Randomize
