He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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