Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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