Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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