I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
