I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
