I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
