Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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