I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
