Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
