Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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