in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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