thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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