after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
The adults are the big ones right?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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