Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
