i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
