Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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