Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
