Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
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She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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