It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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