he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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