my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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