He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize