is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
