You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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